Don't Talk to Me

Answer: Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Blogging, IMing, Texting.
Question: Social media and technology which have replaced face-to-face human contact.

We’ve all heard it at least a dozen times: the current use of social media and technology is rapidly degrading our ability to have face-to-face human interactions. It’s true that I can complete a huge range of daily activities without actually talking to anyone. I can bank online or at the ATM. I can shop for almost anything I need, including food, online and have it delivered to my door. I can go through an entire workday using email and IM exclusively. I communicate with my friends and family via Facebook or text. In fact, there are some friends who I haven’t actually spoken with in months, but I know that their son didn’t sleep through the night last night and they were finally able to conquer the butt and gut class at the gym two weeks ago. Even with my husband a lot of our ‘talking’ is done with email and text. I get my fitness instruction from the TV and my mommy support from online forums. It is possible to have a very active and fulfilling day without ever opening my mouth (hold your comments to this statement ... they aren't wanted here).

Along with this increase in social media too, it is said, has come a decrease in the quality of conversation and the written word. Again, I concede. I may know that my friend made it through her butt and gut class, but I certainly didn’t hear all the dirty details which make true story telling an American pastime. The woman grunting behind her so loudly that the Williams sisters would be embarrassed; the truck sized ass of the girl in front whose shorts kept going someplace unmentionable (did she seriously think that was appropriate or unnoticed?); the thin, blond, buoyant, ever so enthusiastic teacher whom we would all like to do mean things to for no other reason than because we cannot be her (which is completely acceptable). And when it comes to spelling and grammar - watch out. Anything that shortens a word makes texting easier so proper sentences have been replaced with things like ‘rotflmao’ and ‘wat d u wana do 2nite.’ And bless your heart if you think that the correct use of punctuation and capitalization have any importance at all in modern life. Because, you’re wrong. And even when the communication is detailed and doesn’t make my 5th grade English teacher gag, there is something lost in the delivery. Sarcasm, frustration, confusion, reservation, excitement – these things cannot be conveyed the same way in print as they can in person. You can CAPITALIZE EVERY LETTER IN A SENTENCE and still not get across the same effect as running up a screaming in someone’s face (this may, actually, be a good thing for some). You can add a … but it doesn’t create the same dramatic pause is if you were to pause before the punch line.

Yes, all the new advances in technology have done a number on the quality of human interactions we have here in this great country. And personally, I LOVE it. I know. I am not supposed to say that; I am supposed to mourn the loss of intimacy, structure and quality. Maybe every once in a while I do. But not often. I like not having to talk to the checkout lady at the grocery store. I don’t want to make small talk with the bank teller. I don’t always have the time for the formalities of a phone conversation … I mean, when was the last time your entire phone call with your BFF consisted of:

“See you at 5”

No, usually it goes something like:

“Hello?”
“Hey, just wanted to let you know I will be at your place by 5”
“Ok, great then I will see you when you get here.”
“Cool. Oh, did everything go ‘ok’ today?”
“Oh yea, everything is good. We will talk more tonight.”
“Yep, sure thing. See you then!”

That was more painful, admit it. No, I like being able to live a life which I delude myself into thinking is rich in friendship and connections without actually having to get dressed or leave my sofa. I like being able to catch up with all my friends at 3 am when Isla won’t sleep. And when I am in a nasty mood, it’s really best that people talk to me with a technology buffer in place. Let’s face it – it’s much easier to backspace away a rude comment before sending than it is to take it back once it’s been said.

Yes, as far as I am concerned the less human contact I have to have the better. Because, what that means is that when I do choose to have contact with another person it truly will be quality time. I will want to be there, they will want to be there and I will really pay attention because I know the value of that time. So, if you want to talk to me feel free to find me on FB, shoot me a text or comment on this page. But if you want to call me be prepared to wait … free quality time for me these days comes little and far between. And if I call you or set-up a get together know that you have made into onto a very short list indeed.