Lessons

Random lessons from a random (and tired) mind:

• It would take a person great thought and many words in order to convey the same message that a horse does when he whinnies at the sight of you
• Two very small cats on padded carpeting make more sounds than a herd of elephants if they are playing outside your door in the middle of the night
• You will never feel as tired as you do when you think the baby has finally gone to sleep so you have laid down only to find out she was merely taking a breather
• Whippets can easily reach a piece of toast on a 4 foot tall counter pushed to the very back but are unable to remove the ball that they desperately want from under a chair 2 feet off the ground
• Babies weight one pound more for every minute you have to carry them to prevent them from screaming
• Cats always know when you are eating or don't feel well ... if they didn't, they'd never be able to use the bathroom
• The volume of material that comes out of an animal is always more than the volume that goes in
• Little feels better than a child being so happy to see you that they run to give you a hug; little feels worse than the same child crying and shrugging away from you when you are happy to see them
• Whippets run way faster than I throw or kick. This is infuriating.
• Toddlers are 1/3 our size but have 3x our power
• If someone else is weighing you, you will always weigh more than you do at home alone
• Watching crime shows on TV long enough will eventually lead to laying in bed thinking about all the different ways in which people could get in during the night
• One pot meals create twice as many prep dishes as normal meals
• The best way to find a child or animals littered viscous fluids is to walk around the house without shoes
• Sitting up reading (or writing) random crap like this on the Internet is a complete waste of time ... but we all do it anyway